Couples Counselling using Schema Therapy
Schema Therapy and Couples Counselling
We all carry our scars from previous relationships with important figures in our past: be it our families, friends or romantic partners. Many couples struggle with repeated cycles stemming from these scars: criticism, distance, unmet needs, or emotional cut-offs. These often stem from early maladaptive schemas as we find in Schema Therapy. Schemas are deep-rooted beliefs formed in childhood. They influence how you think, feel, and act in your relationship.
In Schema Therapy, you learn to:
Identify your core schemas
Understand how they drive your interactions
Use experiential techniques (like imagery rescripting ) to rewrite painful emotional memories
Develop healthier ways to communicate and meet each other’s needs
Applied to couples therapy, schema work addresses both your history and your present. It goes deeper than surface-level conflict or the disagreement you are having at the time. It builds resilience, intimacy, and long-term relational health.
How Schema-Based Couples Therapy Works
Assessment
You and your partner complete schema inventories. You map out your dominant schemas.Psychoeducation
You learn what schemas are, how they developed, and how they play out in your relationship.Imagery Rescripting
Guided by your therapist, you may revisit early memories possibly affecting your relationship. You rewrite them so they feel less threatening.Mode Work
You explore the different “parts” of yourself: the vulnerable child, the angry child, the healthy adult.Behavioural Change
You practice new patterns in communication. You set goals to replace old, damaging interactions.Relapse Prevention
You build tools to notice when schemas are reactivating. You develop a shared plan to interrupt, intervene and redirect them.
Why Choose Schema Therapy Over More Common Approaches
Traditional couples therapy often focuses on communication or conflict skills.
Schema therapy goes deeper. You tackle the root beliefs and unmet emotional needs beneath recurring issues.
This leads to more lasting change, not just better conversation.
When Schema-Based Couples Counselling Makes Sense
You might benefit if:
You or your partner repeatedly feel misunderstood, unloved or emotionally shut down
You keep cycling through the same arguments without resolution
One (or both) of you carries past trauma, abandonment, or neglect into the relationship. This could be from childhood or previous relationships
You want to build long-term emotional safety, not just solve problems
Online Couples Counselling With Schema Therapy
At Clarity Mind Therapy, you can access schema-based couples therapy online. This offers:
Flexibility: attend from home especially for those who have children
Accessibility: for couples who live far apart
Safety: you control your environment
Continuity: in-person or remote sessions as needed
What Can You Expect?
With schema-based couples counselling, you may:
Develop a shared understanding of your emotional triggers
Bring empathy and validation into moments of conflict
Replace dysfunctional patterns or stuck-points with adaptive behaviors
Strengthen your secure, healthy adult mode- the healthiest aspects each of us holds
Rebuild trust and reconnect emotionally over time
Find a new emotional depth in a long-term relationship
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the difference between couples therapy and marriage counselling?
A: “Couples therapy” is a broad term which can include “Marriage Counselling”. “Marriage counselling” often implies a focus on commitment and long-term relationship structure with or without intricacies of marriage. Schema Therapy can be applied in either context.
Q: How long does schema-based couples counselling take?
A: It depends. Many couples benefit within 12 to 24 sessions, but complexity, schema severity, and commitment influence duration. Some clients like permanent therapy as a space to unpack new issues and work on new goals as they arise.
Q: Is online couples counselling as effective as in-person?
A: Yes. Online therapy offers almost the same outcomes, especially when based on structured, evidence-based interventions like Schema Therapy.
Q: Will only one partner need therapy?
A: It works best when both partners engage. Schema Therapy is relational. But sometimes one partner begins, and later invites the other in.
Q: Do I need to have a diagnosed mental health issue to start schema-based couples therapy?
A: No. Even if you don’t have a formal diagnosis, Schema Therapy helps address recurring patterns and unmet emotional needs that harm your relationship.
Q: What if my partner doesn’t believe in therapy?
A: We begin with psychoeducation. You learn together what schemas are and how they affect your relationship. That often opens doors to shared motivation.
If you want to explore schema-based couples counselling or book a session, visit Clarity Mind Therapy or reach out. Our Clinical Psychologist, Brandon Kayat, experienced in both Schema Therapy and Couples Counselling.
Your relationship matters. Your growth matters. You deserve a more connected relationship.
